Reasons Why I Put My Homework Off All Weekend
by AlexAvalon
Summary: 60 excuses why I didn't do my homework even though I had all weekend. Warning: some may be completely unbelievable! :D


Reasons Why I Put Off My Homework All Weekend

By: Alex and rayv19

1. Facebook

2. I just don't like homework

3. An awesome movie came on last night and I was going to do my home work when it was over but then the sequel came on and … yeah.

4. My cat attacked me and I had to go to the hospital and then when we got there they found cancer and then the cancer got cancer ant then the cancers cancer got (etc.)  
4. "(Sniff)….(Sob)… my…. (Sob)... aunt died AAAAAGGGGHHHHH sob! And it was (sniff sob)….. (Blows nose)…. So horrible WAAAAAAHHHH!"  
"Um, exactly how many aunts do you have?"  
"Two, why?"  
"You've used this excuse six times already."  
"Oh."

5. I can't even count how do you expect me to do algebra/geometry/calculus. (Notice I already said 4)

6. Daddy bought me smart people for this, don't worry.

7. I fell in a well and when Lassie didn't tell my dad I was there until 5 o'clock this morning. Just in time for school.

8. Aliens abducted me and we went flying around in a UFO and they decided to dissect my brain and took all my super smarticals away from me. And put them in a little jar then they dropped me from an incredible height and I was in the hospital all night…. You should be glad I am alive!

9. My cousin was abducted by aliens and we went flying in a UFO and they decided to dissect her brain and take all her super smarticals away from her and put them in a little jar then dropped her from an incredible height and she was in the hospital all night… you should just be glad she is alive and I'm awake enough to tell you about it.

10. I have an evil stepmother and 2 evil stepsisters that are lazy no good bums and make me do all their chores like cleaning, washing, cooking, and yada yada yada…. So you see I'm not really lazy I just am so busy I don't have time to do stupid stuff like homework since I do things like that in school all day anyway.

11. My lazy sister thinks that just because I make her do all my cooking and cleaning and stuff that I have time to do my own homework too.

12. Santa came to my house, but everyone knows that he is really a stalker in disguise and so he kidnapped me. I didn't mind too much at first because I thought I might be able to milk some extra presents out of this. But then he tried to make me clean out reindeer leavings out of the stables.

13. My stalker (aka Santa) tried to make me clean reindeer stalls so I beat the living daylights out of him and then I ended up in jail because it was really my dad and they wouldn't bring me my homework in there. It's all their fault!

14. I live with super secret spies but they didn't tell me about that. And I was basically running for my life all weekend so yah I didn't have time to do homework.

15. I was too busy coming up with insane reasons why I didn't my homework with my cousin that I ran out of time.

16. I decided to train to become a ninja and I didn't realize that it would take years… so I spent the rest of my life in Japan trying to find my "chi" or whatever that is. And I forgot to bring my homework. How did you find me anyway? Is that you stalker Santa?

17. Saving the world seemed more fun

Too bad I don't have any skill in that area

18. I got stranded on a desert island, with no phone, no internet, no food, no water, and everything from the plane wreck washed away… plus a shark ate my homework… and I died a short time later from evil attacking monkeys and some angry head hunters. Ok bye, now Ghost out.

19. I was at my friend's funeral sorry that I didn't deem homework more important than her.

How did she die?

Oh, by evil attacking monkeys

20. Talking chipmunks infiltrated my house and to eat all my food and watch my TV. I decided to make a deal with them, they sing my songs, I give them food and etc. were so busy with rock stardom and being chased by bad guys and stuff that I didn't have time for homework. Plus Theo ate it.

21. Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh… my dog ate it?

22. I was swept away to Narnia and I helped defeat the white witch and I became a knight in the court of Cair Paravel. But in the midst of battle the witch turned my homework to stone and it was too heavy to carry and you couldn't write on it anymore unless you had like a chisel or something. So I chunked it at her head.

23. Some evil teenager killed me with homework that I turned to stone, stupid evil stone turning magic.

24. I found out last yesterday that I was part dragon and accidentally set off the sprinklers at school and it soaked my homework. Then there was the whole thing with the slayer, my dad turning into a dragon. But the homework got sliced in half and I got mad and reduced it to ashes… on accident again. On the plus side the slayer is dead…. We think.

25. I got kidnapped by these guys who were half wolf half human when I had just gone out, of the school. They said they were from the school so I said "so let me do my homework" but they were all like "Grr!" And then they knocked me out when I woke up I was in a cage next to this girl with wings who was freaking out about saving the world and stuff. When she and some others escaped I slipped out while the white coats were distracted. Turns out I was in California so it took 3 days to get back. I just got here; I didn't even go home yet.

26. I was on an island when the prince was murdered and they drew lots and basically all decided that I was the murderer so they tried to exile me. And while I was in exile a kid came and saved me and we managed to get back to the island. But the evil guy ripped my homework to shreds, so you can go take it up with him. I'm sure the psycho would be happy to see you.

27. I was talking to this weird person when all of the sudden she started yelling at me for no reason. I was like, "What's the matter with you?" and she was all like "Wha?"

28. I took a trip in the Imagination Station but due to technical difficulties and I was stuck in there, and when you go shot it actually hurt. I found that out quite quickly, because I was in the Civil War period and well you get the idea. I was like in a medical ward or something and they took my homework because they thought I was Patriot messenger with battle plans or something. But my homework obviously wasn't battle plans, they lost, they blamed me, they tried to KILL me. I got away just in time, I had to leave the paper behind, and there was no way I was going back for it.

29. I did do it, it just got turned invisible. Now you can't see it. See? (holds paper out to teacher)

30. I got super powers in the middle of the night and it was like fire/flame/whatever you like to call it powers and I burned down the house. Killing all my family in the process, I feel really bad about it. Ok? So LEAVE ME ALONE! I'M NOT IN THE MOOD! I'M GONNA ROAST YOU TO A CRISP! I DON'T CARE ABOUT SOME STUPID HOMEWORK! Did I mention I'm temperamental? Yah you might want to stay away when that happens.

31. Well you see I left it over at my friend's house but then she developed super powers in the middle of the night burning down her house and all her family. Then she yelled at her teacher and ended up burning her up etc etc. You know how these things go.

32. Last night while you were all snug at home I was out saving the world, 3 worlds actually, from colliding and destroying the cosmos. My friend were being chased by bad guys (you know, the usual) so we had to go kick their butts and play violin music before life as we know it ended. By the way the bad guys blew up my homework, so you can take it up with them. (P.S. Pssh yeah we save the world with violin music, that's how we roll.)

33. None of my students turn in their homework Mr. Principal. It's not my fault! Then they come to school with the most ridiculous stories. **SOB**

34. There were these scientist that made these chip things to put in guys to make them into some sort of super soldier. But the government didn't like the idea so the scientist did something stupid and put them in toys. Then the toys came to life and tried to kill me. And then with the screaming, and the running, and the freaky Barbie dolls. We figured out how to fry their circuits with the phone lines, unfortunately my homework was on the lines, so all that was left was burnt plastic and charred paper.

35. I was doing it when my dad came home and told us he had another son who thought he was an elf. So I spent the rest of the time trying to save Christmas and Santa Claus.

36. You see, my parents left me home alone while they went off to California, they said it was an accident, but still inexcusable. Some burglars tried to come into the house I scared them off at first but then they came back and I set a bunch of traps all over the place and well the burglars got hurt big time. It was amazing how stupid they were sometimes, but they managed to catch me, threatened to kill me, but the creepy guy in my neighborhood saved me. Oh wait a minute that was over the holidays so I didn't have any homework… never mind.

37. I was working when these Jedi guys came into the shop making trouble so I helped them by winning a pod race then they decided to make me a Jedi too. So now I don't even go to this school anymore, so why am I even explaining this to you?

38. My crazy professor friend made this time machine out of a Delorean and I went back and time and accidentally made my parents never meet, fall in love, and have kids. So I am fading into nonexistence because I failed to get them back together. So I'm not even going to be alive for you to fail me. So I don't have to give you the stupid homewo…..

39. I'm actually an evil genius so I don't bother with stuff as trivial as that. MWHAA HAAAA HAAA

40. My name Montoya. You killed my father with Homework. Prepare to die.

41. I was kidnapped by this weird midget, a giant, and a Hispanic guy. I tried to explain to them how important this project was but they wouldn't let me do it.

42. I can turn into aliens, like a lot of different aliens due to this watch I found. Quite a few people want that watch so I'm used to being attacked at least every third Wednesday. Last night I was attacked, so I turned into a huge monster guy, threw a car at this giant robot guy, you know how these things go. I forgot that my homework was in the car. Oh I got an idea, I'll turn into the monster guy then we can negotiate this homework thing.

43. I was walking down the street with my homework in my backpack when suddenly there was all this brightly colored scenery and catchy music. This dude with a mustache and red plumber clothes started running around jumping on these little chicken nugget looking guys and breaking bricks. Then he picked up this flower and started throwing fireballs around. You can guess the rest.

44. I was at the theatre when someone told me to break a leg. Well I thought they were serious so I went and broke my leg. So I did the show with a broken leg and after words went to the hospital, and I had to have surgery. After I left the theatre burned down because a black cat ran across the stage with 3 candles tied to its tail wearing a yellow collar, which is all bad luck in the theatre world by the way. I left my homework in the theatre. I have no regrets.

45. Well, see there was this vampire who could read minds and some stuff happened so I didn't do it and WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS BREATHING DOWN MY NECK! LEAVE ME ALONE!

46. I was standing back admiring my Christmas tree, when it came alive and started to attack me. It flashed through my mind that it was still Halloween and maybe someone was playing a trick on me. But then it threw ornaments at me and a spiky star that pinned me to the wall. I lit my textbook on fire and hurled it at the tree. That is the last time I accept a Robo tree from Phil Diffy.

47. Well see this pumpkin started sprouting ornaments so I wondered if I'd gotten my holidays mixed up and it was really Christmas. You know I need to stop drinking so much. YOU TOO ALEX! It's a nasty habit. Oh yeah I was too drunk to do homework.

48. We were on this class field trip at a national park or something; everyone in the class was there. We were playing tag football when our teacher went into the woods to get the ball back, he never came back. Then we saw it, the werewolf. He attacked the nearest kid and in a flash he was gone. The rest of us ran back into the mountain cabin, while a few went out with whatever weapons they could find into the woods, I went too. We didn't find anything and when we came back everybody in the cabin was gone. We ran to the road and hitchhiked back. Well, the teacher is dead. Guess I don't have to do that homework anymore!

49. So for some reason I'm always paranoid so I try doing homework so that my teacher won't kill me. But while I was doing it I got this sudden thought that the paper was looking at me funny. That paper. I disliked it with a burning passion. I reached down and ripped that dang idiot paper to shreds. That'll teach him to look at me funny. I'M SORRY MISS! DON'T KILL ME PLEASE!

you see, it all started when I got drafted into the army. My friends and I were kidding around when we filled out that application form! We didn't actually think that I'd be accepted. I tried to tell the sergeant that I'm only 14 but did he care? Nooooooo. But I deserted; I took a plane back to the states and changed my name to Lee Hong. How do you keep finding me, Stalker Santa?

51. I was taking this trip to Germany, TAKING MY HOMEWORK WITH ME, when this guy with really big hair sat down in front of me. It made me mad because I like to be able to see in front of me. "Hey you, flatten your hair or something." He turned around, "Sorry" suddenly it looked like a girl to me. "Thought you were a boy." Anyways long story short he was actually Bill from Tokio Hotel and I actually sort of like that band. I spent the rest of my weekend with the band and making fun of my friend who is like their number one fan. My homework got left on the plane. Then there was a crash and everything got burned up, just thought you might want to know that.

52. Well I got into a freak accident so when I was hurt they sent me to this hospital/weird lab area. They turned me into a cyborg and when I woke up I freaked out and blew everything up in that place to high heaven. And out of pure frustration I blew up my homework as well. Um, here are its ashes if you want to like scatter them or something. I don't know, just whatever you weird teachers do.

53. There was this person and this stuff when this thing happened and I ended up doing more stuff but homework just wasn't part of that stuff.

54. Well I am actually the youngest ex marine ever, well once I was in a battle and I lost an arm. Years later I get a call from these people saying they know my twin brother and they would like a favor. So I say yes, we went to another planet called Pandora, and basically I get go in this machine and I wake up as a blue guy. THIS INFORMATION IS CLASSIFIED. Oh by the way there was no such thing as school on that planet, therefore no more homework.

55. I was just about to start my homework when my dad says "Hey Rachelyn, want to go see Avatar?" and I'm all like "YES." Anyway while we were there the 3D effect made me suddenly get sucked onto Pandora and I had my own Avatar and I got to do so much (but I'm not going to say what because of some select people that may not have seen it yet) and the next thing I know I'm in my desk at school with you asking for my homework.

56. I was just going to go on a quick trip to the Sahara but the plane crashed, I was the only survivor. With my homework in hand I trudged across the desert to find some sort of civilization. I was so thirsty, and I found this cactus and I had seen survivor show so I figured I could cut it open and drink the water out of it. I opened it with a sharp rock and drained it dry, but that was not a good idea. I'm not exactly sure what happened after that. I just know that when I was found they told me I was rambling about toilet bowl cleaners and purple penguins. The homework was gone, lost to the ages.

57. I was answering questions on social interview when I kept getting interrupted so I ran out of time.

58. I was at the beach when I noticed something in the sky. When I went to go check it out it was a girl with wings! I spent the next undetermined number of days saving the world so homework just didn't seem all that important.

59. I was just 14 when my parents built a very strange machine; it was designed to view a world unseen. When it didn't quite work my folks just quit then I took a look inside of it. There was a great big flash and things changed, my molecules got all rearranged. When I first woke up I realized I had snow white hair and glowing green eyes, I could walk through walls and fly. I was much more unique than the other guy. It was then that I knew what I had to do I had to stop all the ghosts that were coming through. I'm here to fight for him and you. I gotta catch them all cause I'm ALEX PHANTOM! (By the way I was too busy catching ghost to do homework)

60. I was at home watching Danny Phantom when out of nowhere the real Danny came through my wall at top speed followed by a huge slobbering ghost dog. I jumped out of the way and since I had all my homework spread out in front of me that giant ghost dog at it all.

my homework was on that thing at that time when that thing happened at that other place which made me do that thing at that other time at that other place which made me do that thing with my homework and that thing happened so you can totally guess what happened (I am so descriptive aren't I?)

62. I was running from these weirdo supernatural people who genetically modified me. They like shot at me and my other modified people friends with tranquillizer darts and then bullets. I rose the dead kind of by accident to protect me, but they ate my homework.


End file.
